Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"Balik KL, balik kampung, balik Kedah..."

How many homes do I have? Everytime my neighbour would ask where I'm going when she sees me packing my stuff into the car and I'll say, "balik kampung" or "balik KL". In KL or kampung, the question would sound like, "bila nak balik Jitra?". The word "balik" connotes going home. But where exactly is my home, I wonder. Kampung? I don't leave there anymore, at least for the next 10 years or so. KL? It is not my house that I go back to. It's my sister's. Here in Kedah? I'm just renting. Although I've been here for almost three years now, but don't really feel like it's my home. So where is "home"? Hmmmmm...

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

"beautiful things come in small packages"

It has been more then a week since I last updated my space. Nothing interesting happened during those days. But there was something interesting happened that I have not written about. But it has been quite some time though. Maybe there were so many things I had to do that it slipped my mind.

I went back to Perlis several weeks ago to visit my foster grandma. (CW, gue tumpang kasih kat family lu...). It was an enjoyable one. Ya lah, after quite some time, it was fun getting together doing the kampung things. I went there with a friend (S) who happened to be a good friend of my new friend K, who happened to be a good friend to my best friend CW who were also there. While in Perlis, we took the opportunity to go to PB. "Somebody" bought the famous makteh pulut ayam while we're there. Actually we didn't have any intention to shop. Browsing aje. Later in the evening, BBQ pulak. We had steak, fish, prawn, squid marinated with only salt and pepper. Dipped in kicap cili and cili sos siam. Yam, yam tokyam. The seafood was superb - sebab fresh from the sea!

Lepas itu tengok dvd cerita hantu. Kuntilanak lagi. Ada orang yang at first macam berani je tapi rupa-rupanya tarik selimut tutup muka. Takuuttt.... and the ending was, semua orang kena tipu dengan director filem tu!

What I'm trying to say here is that some times simple things can be such a pleasure in life. Maybe the things that we do may not be anything terribly special but the satisfaction and the pleasure that one gets out of it is what makes it great.

I use to have a dream of becoming a "somebody" who does great things and is known by many. But now I realise being just me and do things that I like doing (which I've just discovered recently) and at the same time am able to contribute to other people's wellbeing, no matter how small the contribution is, is already a great achievement to me. It is even fulfilling when the effort is appreciated. Of course being that "somebody" would be a bonus. But on the other hand, kalau jadi "somebody" tapi hidup tak aman tak guna jugak.

Maybe this was why my mom wanted so much for her children to be teachers, like her. Well Ummi, your daughter may not be a school teacher but even better, I'm a lecturer. I remember you once said that teaching is tiring at the beginning but the satisfaction comes when you see the progress in your students - from not knowing how to read and write to being able to compose an essay. True enough. You get mad at all the mengong mengong things that the students do but at the end of the day you feel happy at seeing how they have progressed so well - if they progress. It's like watching an ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan...

In conclusion, I thank GOD for letting me be what I am - a nobody with a BIG heart (I know I'm a nice person...). To all my friends, families and whoever that is reading my graffito, I know you too have a BIG heart. Let's share it with others even if the share is so tiny. Like they say, "beautiful things come in small packages".