Salam Maal Hijrah and welcome 2009

Like everyone else, I'd like to wish everyone Salam Maal Hijrah 1430 and an early Happy New Year 2009. I hope everyone has a good year and achieved as many azams as possible.

As usual the most asked question during this time of the year would be, "So, apa azam tahun baru?" Hmm... Baru ke? Or sudah 10, 20 tahun masih tak berubah? The latter seems to be the more appropriate answer. So this year, I've decided to not have any new azam. Maybe I should just pay more attention to those that I made in the previous years, put my focus on them (years? them? Plural nampaknya!) and try and achieve a few if not all. But then again, I pun dah lupa apa azam(s) yang dah dibuat. Hmmm...camno tu?

Maybe I should concentrate on the easier ones rather than bersusah payah nak capai the sky. Tidy up the mess around me like getting rid of all the junks in my room so that I would have more space to put new junks, update my work like finishing them before going home (that might mean I would have stay til late at night kat ofis...arghhh) then I would have more time to bergumbira, less talk and more work (definitely akan kroh dok sengap-sengap kat ofis!) and less interaction dengan orang (boleh ke? I don't think so. If ada good ketupat to make, don't want to miss that!).

Anyway, 2008 has been a good year, if not the best for me. Although academically I'm less productive this year, but I've learnt a lot from the work that I've done and the friends, new and old, that I made and met. Socially, life is getting more exciting everyday. Relationships rekindled and new things learnt.

To my family and friends, thank you from the bottom of my hearts for making my life a blessed one, Alhamdulillah. My yours be a blessed one too.

Banyak pulak nak ceta...

I am forcing myself to write something today although I am not up to it. I have not been feeling very well since I got back from KL last thursday. Been having fever and cold and I'm coughing like mad. Rasa nak tercabut anak tekak. My head rasa nak tercabut because the sore throat has sort of affected my eyes and the rest of my kepala. My eyes felt pain and watery, and I had a terrible headache. Still do. Everytime I sujud during prayer, I felt like the blood all went to my face causing my eyes to feel the pain. I lost my voice since friday after my PJJ class. Although the sore throat is now gone (adale rasa sikit-sikit) which means I can now eat food that I wanted to eat, I still need to be very careful. I'm still in a daze right now. Difficult to pay attention to work as the headache and the cough are still bugging me (or is it just an excuse to go home early????).

Oklah, enough said about my health.

A bit about my long break. Well as I said in the last entry, most of the time I spent lepakking - with friends and family. My sisters, brother and I went back to Segamat for Raya Korban as we also performed a korban. It was raining on the raya morning. Nevertheless the ritual had to go on. The korban was carried out at a surau close to my sister's house. We only need to go and watch our korban. But my sisters were not enthusiastic about watching the slaughtering process. So got there slightly late. Everything was over by the time we got there. (depa ni ada sikit sensitif bab sembelih2 ni...) So no camera shots to post here.

The melapah was done at my sister's. My task was to cook the sup tulang and gear box. One big pot of sup tulang! Habis!!!! (Again no shots sebab camera woman sibuk masuk sup and lupa nak suruh orang lain amikkan). But I did get to snap a shot of my nephew Man cleaning the ekor. Nobody else but him knew how to do it. So dialah yang buat.

Back in KL, it's lepakking time. Visited my old colleagues kat KLIUC. Kalau jumpa tak buat ketupat tak sah le. But that was after a sumptious lunch kat La Rizz. We had lamb and sotong bakar. AWESOME. I tried making the sotong bakar and almost jadi. Taught bibik how to do it so the next time dia boleh cook for Along. Takle kena complain je.

Saturday pi makan kenduri back in Segamat. Apparently this was my only makan kenduri this holiday season. The food was good. I wouldn't say awesome, but good. Then pi shop kat Jakel pulak. Managed to control myself from buying more materials but Angah bought a few pieces - unplanned! Me, I have to control myself. Earlier in the week I collected five pairs (which I never knew I had that many) of baju kurung from my tailor which cost me RM500 and before I left for Kedah I collected four more. I spent almost RM800 for the tailoring this time! Luckilah ada duit terpijak nak bayar. Kalau tak.... I have to stop buying material for now or I'll be broke.

The next few days are spent lepakking with KL friends. Apa lagi kalu tak makan. From pasta to gulai kawah to ketupat sotong and the ever-popular telur dadar. I am blessed!

Lepakking and makan-makan with friends kat
Kelantan Delight @ Sooka Central

The ketupat sotong which is not my cuppa tea. It's sweet!


But then I guess Tuhan nak bagi padah kot. Makan banyak-banyak 2 3 hari ini ko makan jele bubur nasi dengan telur masin!

See ye in the next entry. Ciao!

Hi, I'm back!

A friend yesterday said to me, "Kak, masih Los dan Faun lagi. Bila nak update?" Hmm, been pretty busy memalaskan diri lately. Tu sebabnya takde entry baru. Anyway, today is my first day in the office after a long break. You may ask, cuti lama pun tak dan nak buat entry baru ke? As mentioned earlier, plain malas. Lagipun, I was back kat kampung for several days during raya. Tak ada access to Internet. Back in KL my access is only my sister's. Anyway, whatever excuse yang I bagi, the keyword here is lazy! I just wanted to relax and do nothing serious like staring at the wall and watching cerita Cina yang was never my interest. That's just what I did and a few other things like lepak with friends...

I actually had a tonne of work that I brought home with me. Konon-konon nak try and get it done before the semester starts. Hmm... the only thing that I managed to do was my lecture notes for tomorrow's PJJ class. Itu pun cut and paste from my previous lectures. Nothing mind-cracking.

Anyways, good to be back. willwrite more in my next entry.

Los dan Faun...

No, not that Adflin Shauki's movie. This entry is about an old friend of mine (10 years, old ke?) whom I have lost contact for ten years (since balik from UK) but we were brought back together by a good samaritan name Sharon Wilson from UTAR. Thank you so much Sharon.

I have been looking for this friend of mine, Kim Sae-Uen, a Korean whom I met during my student days in Sussex. I googled and e-mailed but nothing came up positive. She was my neighbour and fast became a very dear friend of mine. I first saw her during the registration. We happened to register in the same program. The next day she knocked on my studio door to deliver a message from the housing dept. to me. And guess what? She lived just next door! That was the beginning when we became friends. We would often 'lepak' at each other's places and have conversations, sometime until late at night. When she first arrived in Sussex, she was quite lonely as that was the first time she ventured outside Korea. She missed her family so much especially her children. She had just given birth to her second one when she left for England. I can only imagine how she felt having to leave her children behind. But not for long though. Her parents came a few months later with her children and they stayed on in Brighton until she completed her Ph.D. Best kan kalau ada the whole family dengan you during those critical years. Bukan moral support je, duit pung!

Last thursday she called me and I was overwhelmed with joy to hear her voice again. I guess we spent about half an hour talking and reminiscing about our lives in Sussex. We planned to meet up but don't know when. Nevertheless, I promise myself that I would go to Seoul one day and meet this wonderful friend of mine. See you soon my dear friend!

So much time and too many things to do...

Last weekend was a long weekend for me. No, did not go anywhere. Dok romah and do things that I did not get to do (well, not really) for the past 3 months sebab ada kelas every saturday. For each saturday yang ada kelas, I get to get cuti ganti. So bertimbunlah cuti ganti yang tak boleh di carry forward to next year. Kena habiskan by 31 Dec. 2008. So I've gone through my diary and decided that I would take one or two days of leave before or after weekends.

It started with last weekend. What did I do? Not much and nothing interesting. Brought home 2 stacks of students assignments which I managed to finish marking one stack last night (Alhamdulillah). I actually have five stacks of assignments and project papers to mark but til now only managed to finish one. Hmmm...bila nak abis ni???

Anyway, buat plan macam-macam nak buat over the weekend - nak cook some nice dishes so that boleh pulangkan pinggan neighbour, nak pi window shoppinglah cari shelves or cabinets to place my stuff yang lama dah dok dalam tong, laundary yang bertimbun, tukar curtain yang sepatutnya dibuat before raya lagi, mark assignment students, complete my proposal, pi tengok wayang etc. - but hanya laundry and marking saja yang dapat dibuat. They rest....

Next weekend is another long one again. Plannya sama tapi tak taule akan materialise or not. Itu pung dah ada plan tambahan.... Takut tak jadi lagi.

Rasa-rasa nak get away for holiday kat mana-mana. Sesekali nak balik KL or Segamat cari ikan baung. Sesekali nak turun pi Melaka sebab teringat fresh mussels masak sambal kat gerai tepi pantai (tak ingat pantai apa). Sesekali nak naik Cameron Highlands. Sudahnya dok kat Jitra le gamaknya... Ada kawan ajak pi makan nasi biryani cung kat Alor Setar this weekend. Students projek "Knowing Kenyalang" ajak to their get together this weekend jugak. Tiba-tiba ada banyak masa but banyak pulak benda yang nak dibuat. Tensi, tensi....

of tomyam and donuts...

Tiba-tiba rasa rajin pulak nak write although the assignments masih tidak bersentuh. I have a proposal to table tomorrow and it is yet to have a title. Huhuhu ketaq...

Anyways, nak ceta sikit about the food that I had in Phuket. (What else to cerita kalau kat blog badak ni??!!!). Of course le nak cari muslim food is a problem. But we are lucky though the morning of our arrival, after tanya kat reception counter, we - my friends and I, went towards the direction given by the guy (with whom we had problem understanding what he said). Jalan-jalan and we came to this one warung. Not much choice. No nasi lemak, or nasi goreng or roti canai or what whatever that we have here. So did not really know what to have sebab kuih-kuih diorang tak berapa nak memberangsangkan. Apparently kat sini pagi-pagi lagi depa serve nasi campur. So no choice. Gipun takut susah nak cari food we decided to have the nasi campur. I was already ketaq - not due to lapar - but the dishes looked so tempting. Gulai ikan/udang with rebung, and those kampung kind of dishes. Apa lagi makan le. Luckily I remember that makanan siam ni selalunya super hot. So I only took sikit je gravy. But unfortunate lah for my friends..... berasap telinga!

Petang, we went to this arab-indian restaurant yang serve awesome tomyam that I had to comeback again the following night. Memang awesome. The hotel food? Pi makan kat Laka Kona 100 times better. Since depa had to serve muslim food, depa amik satu caterer pakistan yang foodnya memang a no no. From the first meal sampailah that served before we left, tak ada apa yang beza. Serupa aje lauknya.

On the way balik to Mesia, I saw one donut outlet kat one of the stops that we made. It was in a shopping mall behind a petrol station. Apa lagi, terus made a quick get-away dengan friends sebab dah jemu dengan makane siam/pakistan. Tak le glamor macam dunkin donut but very creative and cheap giler. I saw this bunny donut that I had to have. Cute giler. The donuts were awesome. Not that sweet compared to dunkin's. After all the bad experience in Phuket, at least there was something interesting to talk about.

(Waah, wa dah pandai upload gambar... This is the first after so many entries!)

Tolon, tolon...

Hi everyone. It has been a long time since my last entry. When was that? Gosh, right after the raya break and that was about a month ago!

Since then, many have happened. Some interesting ones, some not so interesting, and some were just bad.

Let me go chronologically. A few weeks after the raya break, I was pretty busy with my students' projects which were launched in conjunction with the Communication and Media Festival organised by the communication program, UUM. There were 8 projects all together held during the week. Although they were not fantastically carried out, but I am proud of my students for accepting the challenge that I gave them. Things may not be perfect but they went fairly well. Good work boys and girls. But surely that will not guarantee a super good grades!

Anyways, the week went by not without stress. I had to go home late at night three nights in a row. So tired I wanted so much to take a break, have a good massage and relax at a spa somewhere. A good thing though, my badak friends were having a raya open-house in Penang ( I was also one of the hostesses, by the way). That gives me the chance to get away for a while from the hectic life in Sintok.

The open-house was fun. I got to meet with friends that I seldom meet apart from my badak friends whom I meet frequently. The food? Of course, awesome. Mind you, all badaks are good cooks. So you can be assured that whenever the badaks have a get together, food will always be the best. After the food, there's the karoake session. Tak best kalau tak try out songs yang memang tokle nak tarik suara tapi nak cuba jugak. Balik suma dah hilang suara!

The day after Deepavali, I left for Phuket. I wasn't looking forward to it. No, it was not for holiday. I was asked by my boss to attend a convention on student development. Since I'm a student advisor, she said it would be good for me to go. She said it would be a chance for me to relax and get away from work. Yeah right! It all sounded so glorious. PHUKET. Who wouldn't want to go (except me when I thought of all the work that I had to come back to later!). The thought of seating in a bus for 12 hours already put me off. But it's an order, she said. GOD, it was tiring. My body ached all over due the uncomfortable seat. Tau ajele tidor yang tak berapa nak tidor!

Even worse when we reached the hotel at 6.30am, there was no room for us. We had to wait until 2.00pm to check in. The weather did not help either. It was raining all day. So don't bother about going to the beach! Shopping? Not many nearby places to check out for souvenirs as we did not have the opportunity to wonder around the island. BTW we stayed at Patong. So you can imagine that most of everything is expensive. Nak cari makanan halal pung a big task.

However the convention was okay. Papers presented were quite interesting although ada gak yang wa rasa buang masa dengo. The third day i.e. the day we left Phuket was, how should I put it...TERUK. Never in my life pi conference orang halau kita balik. Takut tak make it to the border (Blackwood Hill) in time, we were asked to leave ASAP. Depa halau sebab takut students couldn't make the exams the next day. Lunch pung kena pack makan atas bas. It was so out-of-mind. Rebut-rebut pung tak dan jugak nak cross over to Mesia. Kena lepak for 5 hours kat Dannok until the gate's opened. HORROR betul. Pitty the students yang nak sit for exams at 9am. Depa carilah tiang lampu to buat revision.

Nak kata pung universiti sendiri tapi nak kena kata gak. Lain kali buatle planning bebetul. Why do you have to go across the border so far away when you can always have it here? Less money spent, less time consumed and so very convenient to many.

Buat rugi duit den ajo pi urut Siam then bisa tulang semulo tiba Mesia. Lani nak kena cari tukang urut semulo.

Tengok kejo yang bertimbun-timbun on my desk lagi le poning palo den. Tolon, tolon....

How's your raya celebration?

One day, 2 days, a week, a month or maybe a whole year? I had a brief conversation just now with a colleague. He told me that here in Kedah people usually celebrate raya for only 2 days, unlike in Johor or KL or other parts of Malaysia who would usually celebrate this happy occasion for a month. The way he put it sounded like "you people like to have fun while we are more down-to-earth kind of people" or something to that effect. I have to say I was bit intimidated.

Well, I told him Kedahans may celebrate raya for 2 days because most of them do not need to go out of town to be reunited with friends and relatives. Relatives are mostly a stone throw away. For people like me who are hundreds of miles away from my family, the 2 days are only good for travelling to and from my hometown. For those who are working, the best time to celebrate would be weekends, and there are usually four weekends in a month. So how is it possible for people like me to celebrate raya in 2 days? Maybe my dear colleague should get out of Kedah more often and experience for himself what 30 days of Syawal is worth!

Coming back to my raya, it is always a happy moment for the whole family. It is one of the few occasions that we get to come together and renew and "refine" our relationship. The first day has always been the day for visiting close relatives. Since my parents passed away, not many relatives would come to our house especially on the first day. A bit sad actually when you realise that you are not significant after your parents are gone. But on the other hand, it gives us the chance to do the visiting - something that we did not get to do much before.

The food? Of course. It won't be raya without food, and I mean plenty of good food. We had ketupat, rendang, the delicious ayam masak merah (which I cooked) and laksa johor (Ngah's specialty). But we did not get to savour them much as we all went "beraya". So the food was carried forward to the second day.

The second day is the day for rest. Well, not actually. Although we did not go out to visit families and friends, they instead came over to our house. Dozens of them. It was quite chaotic but a pleasant one. Children were running around, ketupat and laksa were just enough for whoever that was lucky to enjoy them. Anyway, I thank GOD that we did not waste anything. But the best dish of the day was of course, gulai BAUNG. I managed to grab a few of the fish when I went to the market the day before raya. The lorry delivering the fish had just arrived and I did not waste even a second to grab hold of the still alive-and-kicking fish. Gulai baung was the best raya dish for me this year.

We left for KL on the third day unsatisfied as there were many more relatives that we did not visit. But due to time constraint we had to shelve it for next year or whenever time permits. If you realise, the visits that we made had only been to relatives, not friends. So is 2 days possible to do everything?

Lastly to my family and friends, I would like to wish all of you SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

Selamat Hariraya Aidilfitri

"Balik kampung oooo balik kampung hati girang...". Musim-musim nak raya ni this would be the song that many would want to hear. The song does not actually mention anything about hariraya tapi tak tau camno it creates that strange but nice feeling about going home to celebrate raya. Thanks to arwah Sudirman.

Today is my last day before cuti for raya. Tu pun tak sampai esok lagi, petang ni dah nak "kabur", kata orang Indon. Going home for raya to me would mean making several stop-overs before I finally sampai Segamat, my beloved kampung. Oh yes, although I may be going back to many places (refer to my earlier entry some time ago), Kg. Lubok Batu, Segamat, Johor is the real home for me. Yang lain tu tumpang rumah orang je. Anyway, I'll be going down to Penang first to meet up with friends, lepak-lepak and of course the most important thing, makan-makan. Then proceed to KL to join my other siblings before we finally head for home.

Parents would always be the main factors for most people to balik kampung. it use to be the same for me. But since our parents are no longer with us, kami adik-beradik have agreed that everyone would try to come home for raya and celebrate together. Kalau tak memang tak kenal anak cucu. This has been practiced for some time now and Alhamdullillah setakat ni.

As for me, this is the time that I very much look forward to. Being far away from other siblings and relatives, I'm always left out in many occasions. So reunions like this are so meaningful to me.

Lastly, I'd like to wish all my friends and whoever that is reading this page SELAMAT HARIRAYA AIDIL FITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN. If you are driving home for raya, do drive carefully. Stop at rest areas yang ada orang and rest or take a short nap. Take care.

"tukar dulang" and lailatulkadar

"Tukar dulang". It's something that would often happen in the month of ramadhan. Not that this does not happen hari-hari lain. Tapi bulan posa le everyone akan menguji culinary skills. I'm no exception. Will try and find time to test whatever dishes I fancy. Then bagi lak kat neighbor. Cukup garam ke tak, tu lain cerita. Seronok lagi if your plate is returned with something in it. Waah bertambah rezeki.

But yang tak best ada gak. Last weekend I made roti jala and chicken curry. Intention - nak pulang pinggan mangkuk neighbor yang keep multiplying each day. Dah siap masak, all set to go, tengok-tengok negihbour takde. In fact the whole family went away for the weekend. So I was left with a plate full of roti jala which I still have in my fridge. Takkan nak buang pulak. Looks like I'll be having roti jala for my buka posa for the next few days.

21 ramadhan. Already? So nak kena start tunggu lailatulkadar. I remember a story masa kecik-kecik dulu of a man who went to take his bath kat perigi. He hanged his sarong kat batang kelapa. Abis mandi tengok kain dia dah duduk kat puncak pokok kelapa. It seemed the tree sedang rukuq masa dia letak kain dia tu. Betul ke tak, Wallahu a'lam. Anyway, lailatulkadar is said to be the time when angels would come down to earth and pray together with the human beings for keberkatan bulan ramadhan. Only the privileged and chosen ones yang akan mendapat nikmatnya. Of course le yang chosen ones ni bukan calang-calang orang...

So tak payah nak cari bawah rumah ke, bawah katil ke, tunggu pokok sujud ke or air paip beku ke. Yang penting buat ibadah dan amal dengan ikhlas sebanyak mungkin whenever and wherever, and it will come to you, InsyaAllah.

Ehh, bunyi macam ustazah je...

posa, ais & sakit tekak...

It was the 15th. of ramadhan. Pi le buka posa dengan kekawan kat luar i.e. medan selera kat Sungai Petani. I happened to be in Sungai Petani because I was conducting a course for the AADK's officers. After so many moons tak minum ais, hari tu nak sangat minum kopi-O ais. Sedap pulak tu. Tambah pulak the day was quite sunny. So iced drink certainly looked yummy.

Now terima le padahnya. Dah dua hari tekak perit. Although I still have my voice (hopefully janganle sampai hilang suara pulak!) malas nak cakap dengan orang.

Lesson learnt: jangan dok tergoda dengan bebenda yang bukan kebiasaan especially dalam bulan posa ni. Tu baru sikit je....

buka posa and kuih raya

It's the 11th day of Ramadhan. Not much has changed - the weight I mean. Ingatkan bulan posa ni bolehle reduce sikit weight. But until today I don't feel any lighter. Macamana le nak turun weight kalau dok makan yang best-best je. Nasi is a must. If I don't cook the lauk I would stop by at Laka Kona (a stall that I frequent because the dishes memang best) to buy something for buka posa. Sometimes got carried away bila tengok banyak sangat yang berkenan di hati.

So far buka posa mesti ada nasi because I need the energy and also because I am a nasi person. Cannot go a day without it. (But today I'm thinking of trying a different diet. Will see how it goes...).

Of course le before Ramadhan lagi the raya cookies dah already in circulation - untuk tempahan. Kat staffroom tu all sorts of samples ada. From cookies to kerepek to cakes to.... endless. Yang ready to go pung ada. Can't say I'm not at all interested. Order a few types of cookies. Tapi this time I kena control myself. Beli only to bawak balik kampung. For me, takde pung takpe. Gipun if things go well, akan cuba buat sendiri. Lama tak buat I think it would be fun to bake our own cookies. Kalau buat sendiri, ada rasa kasih sayang. That's what I told my students tadi during SDG session. I asked them if them baked their own raya cookies. Of coursele bebudak sekarang mana tau buat suma tu. Main tunjuk-tunjuk je.

Although I'm not into baking but I'm actually looking forward to making my own raya cookies. Hope this will really happen...

of ramadhan and banjir...

Already the 9th day of Ramadhan! Just how fast time flies without us noticing it. Firstly let me wish everyone HAPPY RAMADHAN. A bit late though but not too late I hope. Except for my cell's ringing tone, I haven't heard anybody playing the raya songs yet. So I assume the raya mood is not in the air yet!

Talking about Ramadhan, the first thing that often strikes me is the pasar ramadhan. Tak baik kan? Ingat food dulu. Patutnya ingat nak buat ibadat bebanyak. Anyway, can't say I forget about that totally. Sunat Tarawih, although I can't say I perform it religiously, but I do perform that ibadat as often as I could. Generally the ibadah will always be extra in ramadhan. (Kalau selalunya duk perform subuh gajah, bulan posa ini InsyaAllah subuh on time. Although ada gak miss sebab tak bangun sahur!).

My first Ramadhan this year was spent in "Paris" with friends and foster family. Seronok. I always look forward to spending Ramadhan at kampungs. As I mention earlier, the attraction would be the pasar ramadhan. Here I can guarantee the foods are mostly awesome. Murah pulak tu! So tak sah kalau tak beli, and beli banyak. Semua nak makan!

The first night of Ramadhan pi sunat tarawih kat mosque sebelah rumah. Unlike several years ago when I last did my tarawih there, the mosque this time was not really packed. There was no jemaah praying at the corridors.

After prayer we, Cikwang, K and I went for supper in town. All of a sudden rain poured so heavily that we got stuck there. A bit about this restoran rimba where we lepak. The decor was OK lah kot although not to my taste. First impression, quite convincing. Tapi bila order, we had to wait for about half an hour baru tiba. Itupun salah and kena tukar. Cikwang punya mee bandung tasted sweet that tak larat nak makan. K's mee maggi mamak didn't look mamak. No second visit for me.

Back at the house, the rain was pouring heavily that the drain had overflowed (betul ke?)and the water flowed into the house. When we got home Makngah, Rina, Toksu and her tennant were busy mopping and scooping the water into buckets. This was the second time such incident happened it seems.

That night we stayed up very late to make sure that the floor was dry. Cikwang was busy cooking in the kitchen while the rest of us dried the floor. Anyhow, the best part was sahur (again about makan!). We had kari tulang (cuunnnn), and daging masak taucu (resepi K yang first time buat and it turned up quite okay).

The next day, the buka puasa menu was sambal ikan billis potai, falatok masak style K, leftovers from sahur and off course those that we bought at pasar ramadhan.

There goes my first day of posa. Awesome.

"Am I getting blurrer and blurrer????"

What's wrong with me? A few weeks ago I knocked a mirror off a display cabinet at a department store. Then last week I went into a men's toilet (of course without realising it!). I went to visit a student who was doing her practical training at one the companies situated in one of the new buildings in Penang. At the end of themeeting, I thought that I needed to ease myself first before proceeding to the next stop.

The signs at the top of the door showed that lady's was on the right and the gent's was on the left. Without hesitation I just turned to the right. The doors to both the lady's and the gent's were wide open. Nobody was around, it seemed. So there I went. Once done, I opened the door with the intention to wash my hands at the wash basin. To my surprise, there stood a man, back toward me, doing his business at one of the "I-don't-know-what-it's-called" things that was meant for men - things that I thought was tempat wudu' because tak ada bowls like what they usually have in men's rooms.

Although I cannot see my own face, but I can imagine what I had looked like then - shocked and embarassed and other unimaginables. I walked out so fast without washing my hands, never turning back even once and reached my car in no time.

GOD, what's wrong with me??? Is it the age or is it GOD's way of making my life more interesting by giving me the opportunity to experience things that I thought would only happen to other people, not me. So far things that happen have been those that I can laugh at. Hopefully the next would still be something cheerful to brighten this dull sintok-life.

A friend told me that the men's toilet is always on the right and the lady's is on the left. Really? Never knew about this before...

"Balik KL, balik kampung, balik Kedah..."

How many homes do I have? Everytime my neighbour would ask where I'm going when she sees me packing my stuff into the car and I'll say, "balik kampung" or "balik KL". In KL or kampung, the question would sound like, "bila nak balik Jitra?". The word "balik" connotes going home. But where exactly is my home, I wonder. Kampung? I don't leave there anymore, at least for the next 10 years or so. KL? It is not my house that I go back to. It's my sister's. Here in Kedah? I'm just renting. Although I've been here for almost three years now, but don't really feel like it's my home. So where is "home"? Hmmmmm...

"beautiful things come in small packages"

It has been more then a week since I last updated my space. Nothing interesting happened during those days. But there was something interesting happened that I have not written about. But it has been quite some time though. Maybe there were so many things I had to do that it slipped my mind.

I went back to Perlis several weeks ago to visit my foster grandma. (CW, gue tumpang kasih kat family lu...). It was an enjoyable one. Ya lah, after quite some time, it was fun getting together doing the kampung things. I went there with a friend (S) who happened to be a good friend of my new friend K, who happened to be a good friend to my best friend CW who were also there. While in Perlis, we took the opportunity to go to PB. "Somebody" bought the famous makteh pulut ayam while we're there. Actually we didn't have any intention to shop. Browsing aje. Later in the evening, BBQ pulak. We had steak, fish, prawn, squid marinated with only salt and pepper. Dipped in kicap cili and cili sos siam. Yam, yam tokyam. The seafood was superb - sebab fresh from the sea!

Lepas itu tengok dvd cerita hantu. Kuntilanak lagi. Ada orang yang at first macam berani je tapi rupa-rupanya tarik selimut tutup muka. Takuuttt.... and the ending was, semua orang kena tipu dengan director filem tu!

What I'm trying to say here is that some times simple things can be such a pleasure in life. Maybe the things that we do may not be anything terribly special but the satisfaction and the pleasure that one gets out of it is what makes it great.

I use to have a dream of becoming a "somebody" who does great things and is known by many. But now I realise being just me and do things that I like doing (which I've just discovered recently) and at the same time am able to contribute to other people's wellbeing, no matter how small the contribution is, is already a great achievement to me. It is even fulfilling when the effort is appreciated. Of course being that "somebody" would be a bonus. But on the other hand, kalau jadi "somebody" tapi hidup tak aman tak guna jugak.

Maybe this was why my mom wanted so much for her children to be teachers, like her. Well Ummi, your daughter may not be a school teacher but even better, I'm a lecturer. I remember you once said that teaching is tiring at the beginning but the satisfaction comes when you see the progress in your students - from not knowing how to read and write to being able to compose an essay. True enough. You get mad at all the mengong mengong things that the students do but at the end of the day you feel happy at seeing how they have progressed so well - if they progress. It's like watching an ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan...

In conclusion, I thank GOD for letting me be what I am - a nobody with a BIG heart (I know I'm a nice person...). To all my friends, families and whoever that is reading my graffito, I know you too have a BIG heart. Let's share it with others even if the share is so tiny. Like they say, "beautiful things come in small packages".

of life, health and good FOOOOOD!

When down to KL last weekend. Ada class. Took the opportunity to visit my aunt who had just been discharged from HUKM after having an operation to remove several stones in her bladder. She's 80 years old. Nothing noteworthy about this actually. Many survive such operation, even some who are much older than my Busu, the nickname that she is commonly known by her nieces and nephews. Busu is my late mom's youngest sibling.

But what made me tick is the fact that she is 80 and never had any serious illness before. She hardly has fever or cold. Can't even remember hearing her sneeze! (don't know if she did when I'm not around!). Me? I'm much younger than her and yet I'm complaining about a lot of things. Feeling sick almost all the time! Monthly visit to the doctor is a must. The little packet of tablets has already have a permanent corner in my bag wherever I go. Keep reminding myself to stay healthy so that I will not become a burden to people later in my life but hmmmm... Keeping fit is already a burden!

I did an exercise a few days ago. A first after so many many moons. I had to give it up just after a few moves. Can still feel the ache all over my body. So macam mana nak keep fit and healthy? Maybe I should stick to the diet. No, not cutting down on the amount of intake ridiculously but rather making sure that the food that I'm eating is good and healthy and eat moderately... and of course, tastes good too. So Kuala Perlis, here I come...

mengong, mengong and more mengong...

Talk about ciklol and mengong, I was really pissed off with someone (wil not mention who but definitely not my friends, just acquaintance) that I've made a conclusion -- even if you have a dozen degrees from all the ivory league universities in the world, but if you do not have that human communication skills, you are nothing, at least to me and to those who appreciate some courtesy and sensitivity.

I feel sad for this kind of people. They maybe successful materially (I mean, you may be productive in terms of research, publications, have good positions in the organisation) but they don't actually have friends. The "friends" that they thought they have, are actually just acquaintances. At least that's what this person is to me. She may take me as her "friend" (from my perspective, she seems to be closer to me than to anyone else in the office -- scary!), but I don't think I will ever be her friend if she keeps up with all the wrong attitudes. How can I when this person is, to me, a selfish person who loves things that will glorify her and will pull her face when her ideas are not accepted. There are many more things about this person that I just cannot take it.

Sometimes I just feel like telling her right into her face to grow up, smell the coffee. You are not the only one in this world. Other people have ideas too and they are much more brilliant than yours. Being a senior with a long-list of credits to your name does not make you a perfect person. If you do not know how to respect and communicate with the people around you, you to me are nothing. I believe I have more friends than you. A long list of accomplishments and credits would be a nice too but there is no better gift than having some good and nice friends that you can share all your goods and bads with. And one more thing, I know I'm BRILLIANT if not clever....

So many things, too little time...

Cliche isn't it? But that's what most people would say, not excluding me. People would ask, duduk kat this sleepy town pun banyak sangat ke yang nak kena buat? From one end of the town to the other only takes ten minutes! So why do I want to complain about time? Well. I guess basically it is not so much about time but more about motivation. I have very little motivation to do a lot of things lately. The proposal yang I'm supposed to present is still stuck at the first few paragraphs. Talked to a friend who helped gave me some idea on how to go by doing the research recently and she was surprised I was still not done with it. Been wanting to write seminar papers but never got to it. Anak-anak pokok frangeepani yang Toksu bagi are still in the plastic bags waiting for me to get a pot and some soil. And mind you, the wait has been, I would say...months (don't exactly know how many!). GOD, what's wrong with me? Am I getting sleepy like this town? Ironically, this town is getting much more happening everyday! So, it must be me. Wake up girl, you have a life to live!!!!!

I read my friends' blogs just now. Some interesting things are happening around them. Pesta makan and cerita hantu, and some nasty but interesting poems to ponder. Hmmmm....Maybe I should find someone to bash today. That might make my day interesting! Yeah, why not. I have 2 classes today and my students are supposed to hand in their project proposals. Can use that as an excuse to bantai orang....hahahahahah. And then no students will come to see me for the rest of the semester sebab ketaq nanti kena belasah. EVIL ME!!! Hmmm, maybe I should change my personality.... Ooit! Buang tabiat ke???

"lepakking" with my badak friends...

I was down in Penang last weekend. Not really there for a social visit. I was there to teach at RECSAM. But as usual whenever in Penang, the main task will always turn out to be less important. Getting together with my badak friends will always be the priority. Tempat jatuh lagi dikenang, ini kan pulak kawe-kawe yang tidoq sebantal, makang sepinggang...

On my second night, we had a gathering at Intang's. Potluck style. The menu include sambal sardin, daging dengan kuih asam, telur dadar and pekasam, and rebung masak dengan daging. Simple but yam, yam tok yam. And of course Aa's freshly baked bread! My countribution? Since I did not have a kitchen (stayed in a hotel), fruits and drink je le.

But food was not the prime factor here.(really???) What's important was to be able to be amongst my badak friends (except for one. Wished Shill was around!). Just like old days... lepak-lepak, makan-makan... Maybe the next time when all the badaks are around, we'll have a bigger party...

Haa, apa tu...?

Many of us have not experienced an incident where you would be the center of attention due to an unfortunate event that happened unexpectedly.

After so many years of my life, I never thought that I would be that person who would be standing in the limelight of an embarassing incident, until last friday evening. I was in a departmental store browsing through some things. I was at the costume jewellery counter checking out some items there. I did not realise that there was a mirror on the counter behind me. As the alley between the counters was quite narrow my handbag had apparently hit the mirror off the counter. Phrangg.... For a moment there was silence on the floor although there were quite a number of shoppers around as the sales had just begun. Suddenly I heard someone said..." haa, apa tu?". I looked down and saw shattered glasses around my feet. At that particular moment I could only hope that there was a plastic bag or anything big enough within my reach that I could grab to cover my head. Maluuuu.... However I managed to keep my cool and asked for the supervisor. The rest of the story, biasale... the cleaner came to sweep away the glasses, the supervisor made a few calls to find out how much the store should charge me and bla, bla, bla...

The moral of the story, whenever we come across such incident, never make remarks that may embarass the person involved. The part about knocking the mirror off the counter did not really impact the situation but the remark made by one of the shoppers had suddenly made me feel so guilty and so embarassed. Even worse, I was there alone!

of food, ketupat-making and knowledge sharing...

What a great way to start a day - a hefty brunch with friends who you'd some time take for granted when you have too many things to do. The semester break is almost over. Many have gone for a long leave. Some are still in the office to clear things up before classes start.

In order to make things not to gloomy especially on the level where my room is (most of my "negihbours" are on leave. So it's been very quiet up here), a few of us decided to have a "brunch party". It's been a long time since we had such makan-makan session. Although food is of course an important element of such gathering (mana ada sesi makan yang takde makanan!), but the best part is always the "ketupat-making" session. From one perspective, I would see this as a "knowledge-sharing" session. I strongly think so because most of the time you are relating something that others might not know yet, or something that need further discussion and something that one can learn more about and ambil iktibar darinya. Topics included academics, politics and of course, kalau dalam newspaper term, "human interests" which was a hit. Tak payahle mention kat sini apa-apa dia. Suffice to say, memang interesting.

The food is still a lot left. Maybe we might have a second helping later. No they will not go to waste. Everything is getting expensive these days. So tokleh buang makanan... berdosa! Lagipun kat Afrika tu ramai yang tak makan. Kat Mesia pun ada gamaknya...

1 down, many to go....

Just got back from KL yesterday after a 3-day conference. No, I'm not a presenter but the organiser. If you've been involved in organising such event, you should know how tiring it can be. I'm aching all over. Sat gi nak kena pi dengar talk by one of the keynote speakers, James McCroskey, yang attended the conference tu kat sini pulak. Since we are the host, kenale entertain dia. Cuti dibekukan to make sure that everybody are there to listen to his talk. As for me,I don't know if I'll be able to open my eyes and ears to listen to whatever he wants to say. At the moment, what I want is a good sleep and a massage. Kalau pi massage, mesti akan terbelahak sepanjang masa...

Talk about the conference, I didn't even get the opportunity to listen to most of the presentation sebab sibuk doing other things. From the titles listed in the programme book, there were quite a number of interesting topics presented. A friend who attended the conference complained that she did not get to have a conversation with me because I was always "having things to do". Bukan tak mau nak sit down dengan friends especially yang susah nak jumpa but I was not able to get away from my duty. We did not bring any support staff to help out b'coz it will incur big budget. So yang buat kerja-kerja tu semuanya tutors and lecturers. So it won't be fair to impose a lot on them especially those yang memang already bombarded with lots of things to do from the very beginning.

Aynway the good side is I got to meet some old friends who I have not met for quite a while, and made some new friends. New knowledge? Well, there are a few. The good thing is some of the presentation materials are stored in my laptop! The conference is over and of course not without headaches and heartaches. But the best part of it all is that I got to see the true colours of the people I worked with...

That's that. One task is completed. A few more to do. I have to straigthen my ISO files (which I find is so unnecessary and money-wasting especially when you are working in a university that claims to be a "management university". You should be able to manage well and come out with a more feasible and workable system in order to make sure that the standard of your organisation systems are superb!) I see this ISO thing as an opportunity for consultants to make money. I mean, why do we need to have these ISO people coming in to tell us what is best for us when they are not even in the system? Besides we already have an internal auditor (kat sini ada unit kualiti) and the auditors from the ministry. Banyak sangat ke duit kita yang nak dihabiskan when budget for all other important and necessary things is being slashed?...

Next weekend will be another weekend in KL... Penat but it's something that I have to do. I'm teaching a PJJ class on saturday. Then back to Kedah on sunday and before I realise it, I am already in the lecture hall giving a lecture to 200 students. And my classes are on sundays and Tuesdays....

Two more days to "doomsday". BZ,BZ,BZ... so much work, too little time. Most of my working hours are spent on the conference thingy that I almost forgot about the proposals that I had to read, and write. By the time I recover from all the stress, the students are already back in campus and the cycle continues. Shouldn't complain as I already had my fair share of fun in the sun - literally. Can hardly wait for this conference to be over.

Baru nak terbit mimpi yang tak include conferences, some very "enthusiastic" academic friends had already proposed the theme for the next conference. Haiiya, boleh tak jangan pikiaq pasai tu yet. Baru nak lega sikit kepala otak dah nak pikiaq sapa nak kena buat apa pulak!!

Miss the days where I can lepak-lepak with my beloved gang badak. Read my dear friend's blog just now. Thanks Intang for the nice words about me. My badak friends are the bestest of friends that I ever have. We did so many undescribable but fun and exciting things together. Nothing outrageous but great enough to stay and linger in your mind forever. Intang, cikwang, chor, shil, shaida, love u all.

Oklah, that's all my graffito for now. Nak paste gambaq belum ada time nak browse cari yang cun. later le...

first words

Assalamualaikum and greetings.

These are my first words. I'm just getting started. Never thought of having my own blog. But after reading some friends' blogs, it looks interesting to have one. Anyway, I don't have much to write this time. After all it's sunday, and my weekend was not that interesting to write about. After being away for 10 days, the weekend was spent cleaning up the house. Tiring.

Looks like for next few fortnights I'll be away again. Now that the price of petroleum has gone up, I have to think more than three times before deciding to drive whenever I have to travel out station. No doubt I'm able to claim for mileage, but the rate is still the same. Maknanya takda untung ooo....

Okaylah for now. To those who happen to come across this page, welcome. Do drop a comment or two. Till next time....